Warning! This post contains Adult language, real images of a crime scene, and disturbing content.

It has been reported today that the Magical Internet Money Fairy has been found dead, apparently from an overdose of the highly addictive drug BS.

The Magical Internet Money Fairy gained popularity among internet marketing newbies due to its apparent ability to magically make them rich by leaving piles of cash under their pillows during the night. It is rumored that newbies who believed in the now deceased Fairy would wake to instant riches whilst putting in no actual effort themselves.

This claim has never been proved, however, and the very idea was instrumental in the rise of several opposition movements, the most vocal being HWAS (hard work and strategy). A spokesman for the HWAS organisation, Mr Brocklehurst had this to say: “if you believed that then you really are a gullible twat”.

It is believed that HWAS, as well as other vocal opponents of the Magical Internet Money Fairy, may have been responsible for the latter’s apparent suicide. It has been claimed that the the Fairy became severely depressed once word about the truth behind making money online was revealed to the general public by those who were actually successful at doing so. The fairy, according to reports, decided to end it all by overdosing on the highly addictive BS drug, otherwise known as Bull Shit.

Medical examiner, Dr Wazat Stank, found high levels of Bull Shit in the Fairy’s bloodstream, further supporting this claim.

International Interwebs Police commissioner Mrs Phuc Dat, from the Vietnamese office, had this to say “Xem ra cho các máy tính rơi“. Roughly translated, this means ‘watch out for falling computers’. Apparently panic-stricken newbies, on hearing the news of the Magical Internet Money Fairy’s untimely demise, have taken to hurling their PCs and Macbooks from their office (aka bedroom) windows. There have been several reports of innocent passers by being injured by falling hardware since the tragic occurrence.

Mr Amgwana Kikbootie, from the world-wide help-for-newbies foundation, Truth Bomb, advises treating panic-stricken newbies with a healthy dose of reality. He further advises pointing them in the right direction by giving them a swift kick up the Jacksie, and explaining the realities of life to them.

Further steps, such as recommending some training and courses that will actually help them, is also advisable.

Being the caring individual that I am, I have pledged to do my part in trying to help these poor lost  souls heal.

I therefore recommend this product to all those who feel a deep sense of loss over this tragic incident as a way to get real, get moving, and make their own success.

 

This post was inspired by Andy Brocklehurst from andybrocklehurst.com

You can read Andy’s full article here.

 

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